Music, Links

People you should be listening to:

Boston Letter, and especially their first track (audio).

The Metasciences, and Four Color Love Story (audio).

People you shouldn't be listening to:

Death Cab for Cutie (fuck those sons of bitches)
Franz Ferdinand's new album

C-Time

So, basically, I believe that for every person you meet, no matter how awesome they are, it's possible to be around them long enough that they become annoying. This theory holds as true for friends as it does for girlfriends.

I developed this theory in high school, when I spent a lot of time hanging out with my friend Chris. If you know Chris, you know how annoying he tends to be. If you don't know Chris, just picture a Republican who doesn't read, and always talks about either the military or sex.

After spending a few hours with Chris, I realized that I grew to hate him more every hour we were together. Eventually, I quantified the amount of time between meeting up with Chris and wanting to stab him until he stopped babbling. I called this number "C-Time".


A few interesting observations about c-time: C-Time can be lengthened by varying activities during the time two people are associated, activity's like talking make c-time shorter, limiting contact by reading or watching a movie make c-time longer. I notice that friends unconsciously understand when they've almost reached the end of c-time, and they take steps to remove themselves from association with their friend, at least for a short time. Also, it seems that c-time may pause when sharing an enjoyable activity with person, like drinking (or booze makes you more tolerant of associate), walking, sex (actually, sex is a lot like drinking, as far as what you tolerate), video games, certain types of physical labor.

Longest C-time observed: Stu, at around 3-4 days; though we had been living together in Japan at the time, and I think being forced to deal with a person makes you more tolerable

Shortest C-time observed (in a friend): Maybe post breakup Megan (30minutes - 1 hour), or Chris (3 hours, though this decreases every time we hang out)

Joy!

Laura told me she really did share the deep feelings of love we hold. This is so great! I'm going to order up the stationary for the wedding!

Should "bonds of deepest affection" be in all capitals?

Exceed

"Transverse the horizontal"

-Bitches.

Excess Words

Little story partially inspired by this article:

Today, I finally went skydiving. I've wanted to dive ever since I saw a skydiver on some commercial back in middle school. I know, it's a bit strange, dreaming of living a commercial for 10 years, but something about the skydiver's expression stuck in my mind all through high school and college. Now I call it a sense of freedom, a fierce pride in being the one. Not in a goofy matrix style way either, more like an embodiment of the best, a justified pride.

Anyway, the skydiving was great, though I tell myself not to think about it too much. I don't want the experience to become ordinary for me, it should be a prize hidden in the back of my mind, something to find when I fail a test or walk home in the rain.

I met some really cool people too, this couple who were a bit older than me (they were still cool though, you could tell they were different), and their friend, who was a bit ordinary, I didn't really talk to her. You know how it is, nothing new to say, I just felt like I could be talking to anyone else on the street, and she had this way of paying way too much attention to me.

So we ended up going to this rock formation near the airport they knew about. I smoked weed for the first time, and I don't think anyone noticed. It was strange, not as different as I thought, more like walking through a clothesline hung with those sheets you can almost see through. That's not really it, but it's hard to describe. At least I'll be able to tell myself I actually did it.

We chilled for about 3 hours after the drop, then broke up around dinner. I exchanged numbers with the couple, and they invited me over to this monthly party/drum circle thing they do. That girl didn't really talk much as we made plans to meet up later.

I got some food on the way home, and didn't really have time to do much more than write this entry before bed. I just need to brush my teeth, feed the cat, and take a shower, so this is me signing off.

Good night.

As always, comments appreciated.

Catching Up

Friday night, I built a bonfire along the ho chi minh with Tareq and my brother. While looking for rocks to build a fire ring, I stumbled across this baby owl, just sitting on the ground. We brought the owl a little closer to the fire to keep it warm, but from the way it moved, we could tell that one of its wings were broken.

In other animal news, I let my cat in this morning, and it trots in carrying a dead chipmunk. Cat couldn't understand why I didn't want a dead chipmunk, so I ended up chasing Cat around the place trying to get the chipmunk from her. After Cat dropped the carcass, I deployed my patented "Chipmunk Chopsticks", and catapulted that little bastard into a neighbor's yard.

Oh, and Mike or Matt stopped by the bonfire on Friday. So that makes one person from Brightman's class that I've actually talked to outside of class. Zack's right, as always.

Also on Friday, I saw "Walk the Line" with Chris. I was pretty bored, and the music started to get on my nerves (though I'm normally a Cash fan). The C-Time theory still holds, which I'll explain in the future.

And today I napped for five hours. It was awesome.

Also, got these two cheap shirts from Warrenellis.com. They're cussword-o-licious.

Yaaargh.

Last night was basically successful. I had a beer with a hobo, who is apparently in Atlanta from New Orleans - he's was a hobo there, so he doesn't get any aid. I'm not sure if I believe the guy's story. I've talked to a lot of hobos with lots of stories, like a guy in Japan who said he was in Atlanta for the 1996 Olympics (but he didn't know anything about Atlanta), and a guy on the train who said he lost his leg in Vietnam (he looked about 30).

In addition, that "hair of the dog" hangover cure is bullshit. The best cure I've found is violently attacking anyone who gets within 30ft of you.

That'll keep those nosy fuckers away.

Bored Bored Bored

So bored. I could go for a walk, but it's too fucking cold to stay out long. Actually, that's what I'll do.

Tonight's resolution: Collect brother, walk from midtown towards that street with all the whores. Should be fun, might need some supplies.

Right. Next step.

Supplies: Cornbread, warm clothes, cellphone, a trifling amount of cash, warm socks, pen, some sort of booze for warmth.

I'll be walking at least 5 miles, so that's 10 miles round trip. Leaving nowish (that's 11). Should be back by two or three. Can't think of any problematic entanglements. Should be interesting.

This is what happens when I don't have school to occupy my time. Be ye warned.

Sing a Song

This is so cool. I have a feeling I'll waste the next few hours here.

Flip Side

Good night moon, good night Komodo Dragon.

Snippets

What's this broken heart thing I hear about? As if experiences were permanent? You know how crazy people can see things that aren't there, but they exist in that person's universe? Just imagine that your heart is the crazy person, and the scars or open wounds are the figments. Seems easy enough to me.

Fuck.

Other news, that so-called story:

Wait. Maybe my eyes aren't entirely gone. Is it possible to see with only half an eye? I seem to remember feeling the worms, but I'm not so sure now. I feel some sensation of light within my little box, but I'm not sure if the light is something I see, or something I remember.

I used to spend Friday nights drinking on the pier with my old friends, telling each other our favorite tired old lies. We would sit on those creaky old camp chairs until early in the morning, talking while the sun warmed the brine soaked pier. Words mattered all those years ago, but now all I remember is that faint, almost imperceptible change, that moment when you knew the next day had begun, but the sun was still sunken behind the waves.

I can feel that now, that pull, or maybe the anticipation of a pull. This dream is worse than life, worse than what death should be like. I wish I could make my mind flat, and forget the faint grey light I can see around the edges of my coffin.

Things Keeping Me Awake Last Night

My fucking cat, yowling to be let in.

That short story/book I'm working on. Does a zombie crawling out his grave in the spring make him a christ figure?

My pillow - lumpy on one half, soft on the other.

That tattoo.

Tess of the D'Urbervilles - better than it was 100 pages ago.

My fucking cat, yowling to be let out. At 5:00 in the morning. Fucking cat, I'll use it's organs to build a violin.

Need to Choose a Major?

Posted to Zack's friend's blog:

Reasons to major in English:

1) You already know how to speak and read it.
2) Unlike Religion and Sociology, you'll often have answers to questions.
3) New ways to cuss at people.
4) Do you really want to know why people are fucked up? Isn't that like taking a microscope into a porto-potty?
5) Historical basis for drinking a bottle of whiskey before you start writing.
6) English major keeps you far the fuck away from Catholic priests.
7) You don't really want to study religion, you just want to come to class drunk and shout explicatives at fundamentalists.
8) English majors have a better chance at getting a good job than Sociology or Religion majors. [actually not true, I just can't think of reason number 8; if you pretend #8 makes sense, I'll believe you]
9) Psychology majors are all fucking batshit. So are Religion majors, but at least they see god when they're crazy.
10) Seriously though, those Sociologist fuckers are crazy too. I know a sociology major who's always fucking babbling. Do you want to sit in a class full of fucking babblers? [If you've taken any religion classes, you may already know how much the big beard in the sky hates Babble]

Sincerely,
Zack's friend, who's undressing you in his head right now, but not in a weird way. Oh noes, Ben's not like those freaky motherfuckers. When he mentally undresses a woman, it's always fucking classy. And he calls them in the morning.

Unless they don't want him to. Ben's not clingy or anything.

New Link

I'm adding Britt's blog to my links on the right. I generally read it every day or so, and figured I bitch about it enough to add a permanent link.

Britt's a good person, and his posts tend to be interesting, especially for any of you interested in human nature.

I Have Strategy!

I didn't realize it at the time I started, but for the past two weeks I've been following a cunning plan. I went to school each day in a t-shirt, even when the temperature fell to around 30 degrees. My mom recently took pity on me, and bought me a new jacket and gloves to replace the ones inexplicably destroyed a few months ago.

The jacket and gloves are good quality - light weight, warm, and wind resistant. But they have a fourth, hidden advantage: They're completely immune to water! For some reason the material of my jacket and gloves don't absorb water; when I pour a glass of water on them, the water beads up and slides off!

I spent a few minutes today with my arm under a faucet, laughing like a maniac.

This is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Feel the Illinois

While I lived, I was a juggler. I could juggle almost anything - any shape, any size. Once you learn to juggle, you see every object as an obstacle, find yourself picking up mugs, sticks, silverware, calculating how to toss them best, what grip to begin with, how to work them into your act. I saw life as just another ball to juggle. Never thought about it much, just learned to make a living, and stay in the game as long as possible.

Now I'm dead. I don't remember anything past my 26th birthday, so I assume something killed me around there. I can't feel any anger or regret now, just a dull phantom pain where my emotions once were. Maybe the worms ate them, along with my eyes, ears, and nose.

I've been thinking about writing over the past few months. I'll probably write a book some time, and I've been tumbling ideas around in my head, trying to find something that leaps from my mind to the keyboard.

I might start with semi-trashy fiction, maybe use that intro up there as a concept and expand. A book featuring a zombie as the main character might be fun, though it's been done before.

Comments?

Suggestions?

Curses?

Ejaculate!

I just wrote:

Not to be overly blunt or anything, but stop trying to be Pitchfork - If I wanted ejaculate all over the review, I could do that myself.

I really want to send the message to Britt as a reply to the review on his blog, but it would be like kicking a puppy.

Britt - when you write a review like this, you sound like one of those annoying bastards who make extensive lists of the good things about a song, just to show you that they're deep enough to appreciate it.

I Can't Escape

I went to a charity party thrown by Animal 13 last night. It was far away from Oglethorpe, and considering the size of the school, I didn't expect to see anyone there. The most people ever at the party was something between 50 and 100, and I saw or met at least 15 Oglethorpe students.

Oglethorpe is a fucking vortex.

I've got a plan. Buy holiday Vader, afix to Laura's Star Wars themed tree.

Brain Sparkles

Last night was strange. I ended up getting feverish towards the end of the night, spending the day at home recovering.

Please don't send whiskey.

More Quizes

A quiz, stolen from Brittany.

Two Names You Go By That Aren't Your Name: 1. Ben 2. Asshole?

Two Parts of Your Heritage: 1. One of those Illinios tribes 2. German

Two Things That Scare You: 1. Ignorance 2. Can't think of anything, maybe rocks falling on my head?

Two of Your Everyday Essentials : 1. Readin' 2. Computerin'

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now: 1. Nuthin'

Two of Your Favourite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment): 1. Decemberists 2. Dresden Dolls

Two of Your Favourite Songs - at the moment: 1. Legionaire's Lament - Decemberists 2. I Was Meant for the Stage - Decemberists

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love): 1. A confidante 2. Hilariously over the top sex

Two Truths about you: 1. I tend to be less than honest 2. I like telling people things

Two things you are attracted to (physically): 1. Body as a whole I guess? I'm more about the whole greek balance and proportionality thing 2. Drastic dyed hair

Two of Your Favourite Hobbies : 1. Reading 2. Wandering

Two Things You Want Really Badly: 1. Can't think of anything, my life is perfect

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation: 1. Toronto (to see Godspeed you Black Emperor 2. Istanbul

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die: 1. Spend at least a few years travelling 2. Break into a government building

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick/Guy: 1. I don't care about other people 2. I like "roughing" it

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now: 1. My neck hurts 2. I need more naked girls around in case I need a massage

Two Stores You Shop At: 1. I don't really buy things since I ran out of money, but I guess I'm visiting a package store this afternoon

Keep in mind, the above answers are generalizations, I probably won't lie to you. And if I do, it's for your own good.

I'm Awake Again

I started having trouble sleeping on Sunday. Took me an hour or so to get to sleep each night, and my sleep was disjointed. I remember waking up a few times, replying to something spoken by one of my dreams. It's a strange thing, the halfway state between sleeping and waking. I often found my troubled sleep extending throughout the day, found myself wondering whether I was struggling to stay awake, or whether I was dreaming and struggling to go back into a state of dreamless sleep.

It was worst when I wasn't in class, I would find myself wandering the campus, afraid to stop or sit because I thought sleep might catch me. I knew I had other things to do, and I realized I had to destroy my mind (sleepwise) in order to get to classes, do things.

Things that change when I don't get enough sleep: paranoia, slight depression alternating with ecstasy, dancing eyeballs, lack of comprehension, and bad decision making.

Zack says he usually has trouble sleeping, I hope he gets more sleep than I did last week.

The saying goes, "knowledge is power". I like to imagine a world in which every person has an infinite amount of knowledge.

In practice, this means I can't keep a secret.

But shit, do you really want to keep a secret. Obviously, secrets are too much fun not too spread around. Wouldn't you want to know that Zack's mom once stuck a keyboard into a very private bodily crevice, then logged on to her computer while the keyboard was still in her?

That's why I always keep an extra $5 dollars with me when I eat at Zack's house.

Heh... Benjamins...

My blog is worth $564.54.
How much is your blog worth?