Yrs, Ben

I am working on a theory which compiles all behaviors and all nationalities.

In the meantime, please watch Primer.

Harmony

There was a drunk guy playing the harmonica below my window a few minutes ago - I opened my window wide and leant out.

Drunk guy sez: Sorry 'bout that mate, just playing my harmonica
Me sez: No! Keep on - it sounds good!
Guy: Don't mean to cause a disturbance...
Me: I like it - really!

But the guy left, and I feel horribly bad.

Do you know what it is to hear a good harmonica on a rainy stay at home night?

14 Days

Whoooosh.... Boom!

Holy shits!

One-way flight from London to Istanbul, only $176 with tax included! On British Airways!

Time Management

Ideally, I would be writing about what trees look like.

Right now.

Instead, I am resheeting my bed and pillows.

A good compromise.

New Words

I don't think day-dream is a good word.

Possible replacement: future-memory?

That imaginary series of images which one might generate while looking out of a classroom window. Unlike a dream, which is almost definitely jammed full of symbolist bullshit, aka "meaning", a future-memory is the mind's way of positing a simple future action which is basically identical to past actions. These past and future memories are generally simple: walking through the snow, napping under a tree, playing frisbee on the lawn. The only difference between the two is which has occurred - future memories, unlike dreams for the future, are almost always probable actions, separated from past memories only by the time or place they occur.

The next day the wrinkled woman was back, and she still seemed to believe I was in terrible danger.

“You are in terrible danger!” She said.

I said “really?”

She paused and looked at the picture of Tibet behind me. It was labeled "Tibet". The correct response still had not materialized.

It appeared that the conversation had reached a stand still, so I went back to counting out the register. The customers had no respect for their money, the sheets were folded, curled, and torn. Most of our customers were students or obviously too wealthy to be buying Chinese food for the third night in a row. During the warmer months, we'd get illegals on their way in to town for a movie and a few beers. Unlike the other customers, I never got to recognize their faces. I think that's why I've always assumed they lived happier lives than the rest.

“How much is a soda?”

“A dollar even.”

She grabbed one of the new fruit flavored ones from the fridge. I looked again. Was she having trouble with the door? Her fingers seemed to flicker around the coke. It was like looking into a strobe light - I couldn't tell if they moved too fast or too slow.

“I am coming to you from your past and future.”

I counted out change for her crisp five. “Yeah?”

She was ready for it this time. “Yes. Both at the same time. It is a function of our quantum crystal matrix, we must go back to move forward, and vice versa.” Her fingers did that dancing thing again as she drew back the sheaf of soy sauce smelling ones.

“Do you know if I ever go back to college?”

---

That was the part I finished up on Friday. It needs a good deal of editing, and any advice is much appreciated.

This next bit was written today, and, is crap. I'm not saying that to be modest either. It was one of those situations where I just needed to put words on paper, and let my brain work in the background.

Voila:

---

“It depends – will you travel forward with me?”

“In time?” She watched the menu behind me closely. “Did you want anything else?”

“Don't think of it as moving in time... it's more like taking a vacation in a third world country. Of course, in this example, your time is the third world.”

I looked around the store. She was right – I probably couldn't get away with skipping mop-up tonight. The cooks were already cleaning up in back, so I turned off all the signs outside. The woman had uncapped her coke, and I wondered if she planned to drink it here.

I Really Like This Comic

Aren't We All?

I AM JULIET BRUCE ,22YRS OLD I AM A SERIOUS MINDED LADY I AM NEW TO ONLINE DATING AND I AM SEEKING FOR MARRIAGE AND SERIUS RELATIONSHIP WITH TRUE LOVE MAN.

I Hate Your Eyes

1. What do your shoes smell like?
Leather, feet

2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
Ideally, I'd leverage my religious heritage into a position as a supply clerk

3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
never

4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
Nope. I'm not a goddamn barbarian.

5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Never competed in one, afraid of making other people look bad.

6. What is your longest fight you had with one of your friends?
[I'm considering my brother a friend for this one] Probably almost 20 minutes. It started slow, and then just escalated until eventually we were throwing furniture and punching through drywall. It was pretty awesome.

7. Are you a fast typer?
Yup.

8. Are you afraid of the dark?
Depends where I am. But no, not usually.

9. Do you like the sun?
Fuck yes. Radiation is awesome.

10. Who can you always turn to?
Whiskey?

11. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
Never. Again, not a barbarian, do not want to wash in own filth.

12. what are you listening to?
Birds chirping, street noises.

13. Are you drinking anything right now?
Coffee.

14. Do you think you're attractive?
In the right light, maybe, if you're squinting your eyes.

15. Why?
Because my face is pretty much average. To be fair, my eyeballs are fucking amazing.

16. When is your birthday?
May 3rd. Holy fuck. I think I'm 23 now. Damnit.

17. What do you want for Hanuka?
Nothing, I'm doing fine.

18. Do you know the muffin man?
You mean Stuart, who lives on Drewry Lane?

19. Do you talk in your sleep?
Apparently!

20. Have you ever flown a kite?
yeah, not so much recently.

21. When was the last time you went swimming?
Two months ago? I miss swimming every day.

22. Do you brush your teeth 3 times a day?
Twice, if you're lucky. I've also started flossing more.

23. Do you consider yourself successful?
Within my limited definition, yes.

24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
Dunno. 30-40?

25. Have you ever asked for a horse?
Why? Fuck horses.

26. Plans for tomorrow?
Same thing I do every day, read, write, walk.

27. What's your middle name?
Vogel.

28. Missing someone right now?
Not so much. I could stand to see all my friends back home, maybe my brother.

29. When's the last time you told someone you loved them and meant it?
A few years ago. I don't tell a person I love them unless I mean it. Funny story actually, ask, and I shall reveal.

31. How are you feeling today?
Lame. Bright-eyed and fire-tailed.

32. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
Suspended in high school.

33. Have you ever gotten a referal at school? If so what for?
huh?

34. What are you looking forward to?
Istanbul? Though I'm also perfectly content with Oxford. Could use more naked female company, but life's tough, you know?

35. Have you ever crawled through a window?
All the fucking time.

36. How many names do you go by?
Benjamin to my family, Ben to everyone else. "The Beast from the East" to Elizabeth and Jeremy.

37. Have you ever eaten dog food?
I keep meaning to.

38. Can you handle the truth?
I don't know yet.

39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
I don't eat swine.

40. What 3 things do you always bring with you to places?
I almost never carry things with me.

41. Any cool scars?
Yup, just recently, on my nose.

43. Is it Coke or is it Pop?
Coke.

44. Do you get your nails done?
nope

45. How often do you talk on the phone?
haven't used the phone for a few weeks.

46. Do you believe in love?
Not sure

47. Is there something you want that you can't have?
Have I mentioned the lack of naked girls in my life? I would also like a better bed.

48. Three things about the preferred sex that you first notice?
Face (first eyeballs, then mouth, then chin), chest, and a tie between ass and hands

50. Who did you last hug?
Beccah

52. Where is your phone?
In Atlanta, 5,000 miles away

53. What was the last thing you ate?
Sausage pasty

54. Favorite Color(s)?
Fuck you.

55. Last movie you watched?
Deadwood?

56. LAST SONG YOU HEARD?
The rap/country soundtrack from "Dead and Breakfast"

57. What do you want?
When do you want it?

58. What is your favorite thing to do?
Walk, break into buildings

59. What t.v. show are you watching?
Deadwood (downloading season 2 now)

60. Post-its or Index Cards?
What the fuck are you talking about? This is the 21st century - paper is for losers.

Mysteries

If you want to seem smart, just wait for the other person to stop talking, then tell them why you aren't sure. Wait for them to stop talking again, and repeat.

This One Goes Out to All You Art History Majors

According to Brueghel
when Icarus fell
it was spring

a farmer was ploughing
his field
the whole pageantry

of the year was
awake tingling
near

the edge of the sea
concerned
with itself

sweating in the sun
that melted
the wings' wax

unsignificantly
off the coast
there was

a splash quite unnoticed
this was
Icarus drowning

William Carlos Williams, [couldn't find the date], written immediately after seeing Breughel's Landscape With the Fall of Icarus.