New York trip moved up, August 10th through August 17th. I've been researching Things To Do In New York. There's this awesome jazz club called Smalls - that's the only thing I have as a "must do". And I need to visit my cousin Jacob, who does art stuff or something. I'll be staying with my Aunt Linda and her two kids. They're all pretty annoying. I remember spending a week with the two kids in Atlanta a few years ago, I ended up getting in a fight with Jason before they left, so the visit should be interesting.

Keep reminding myself to run Trillian more often - Hello Internet!

I took a walk through the park and around the lake a few minutes ago, that was the most exciting thing that happened this week.

Zug Zug

She had a body built of extremes, the sort of form that reached through your eyes, knocked on the door of your primitive brain, and punched you in the face. I wasn't worried at the time; she wasn't my type. I've always liked the girl that takes my soul, puts it in a glass jar, and spends her spare time balancing it along with the other jars she's collected. Girls like that don't have much focus - good for a me, my type.

I don't really see many of them unless they're rich, and that type of girl doesn't get rich except by mistake.

So this extreme women walks through the door. The had intern quit after his mother saw the office, so she walked past his vacant desk and into my room, the only other door in this two room converted apartment.

"Hi, I'm Max. I assume you don't have an appointment?"

Muse - Knights Of Cydonia!!!!!

Fuck yes.

Late Words

Did you know that the guy who directed "Y tu Mama Tambien" also directed "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azakhban"?

Feeling bored bored bored.

Everything's going to line up as planned until New York, where I may be dissapointed in the long run but enthralled for at least a few days.

And then school. I'll probably shift a bit this way and that. Taking a lit class with someone who's apparentally pretty cool. No Creative Writing, thanks. French. That should push things along.

Yes, pushing things along. I'm probably moving towards something. I imagine I'll be much bald-er by the time I reach it. So, no hurry. Plod plod plod.

And then I'll spend sections of my life teaching, off time trying to publish a book until I get discouraged or succeed - same basic thing. If I write the book, I'm happy. Everything else is glitter, as we see by browsing the bookstore.

+1 to All Knowledge Checks

If you go here, you can read a comic called Scott Pilgrim. It's pretty cool. That picture to the left is a sample.

Also, my brother walked into the apartment a few minutes ago and swiped his hand at the air in front of my face while saying "rawr". He sounded like a heavily sedated tiger.

Sometimes we play a game called guess that drug where I write down my guess about the drug Adam's on and read it to him the following night. The game has really improved my "Knowledge: Drugs" skill.

Tonight I'm guessing E.

Quiz. Bitches.

Do you live in the moment?: mostly - I guess you could say I live within a narrow two week frame
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Generally
Do you have any secrets?: Nothing too horrible. If you asked me a direct question about it, I'd probably tell.
Do you hate yourself?: no
Do you like your handwriting?: no, it's deterioted so much from middle school, when it was at least passable
Do you have any bad habits?: biting my nails, clacking my teeth, not standing straight, cursing, slight kleptomania, fidgitiness
What is the compliment you get from most people?: some varient of "cool 'hawk"
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? "I Will Stab You in the Eyes"
What's your biggest fear?: I'm not really sure if I'm afraid of anything. I guess getting old is going to be pretty shitty.
Can you sing?: yeah, chorus in middle school
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: I used to pretend to be part of tourists groups in Japan to get into castles and museums free.
Are you a loner?: sort of. I think that if I tried harder I could changethe trend, but I like where I am right now.
What are your #1 priorities in life?: being happy? Living?
If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Fuck yes.
Are you a daredevil?: yeah. That's probably another bad habit.
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: by legs are shaped in a way that jeans are not.
Are you passive or agressive?: more aggresive than passive.
Do you have a journal?: bushidobrown.livejournal.com, igotnoshoes.blogspot.com
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: more empathy might be cool. Young Heather was gonna show me how to pole vault.
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: more like caullused.
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: probably, don't remember anything non-relationship wise within the last few years.
Do you think life has been good so far?: yes
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: I'll find out at my post-job review
What do you like the most about your body?: ninja like reflexes, balance, and speed.
And least?: could stand to be a bit taller
Do you think you are good looking?: yeah, usually
Are you confident?: in a weird way
What is the fictional character you are most like?: we're having a long discussion about this
Are you perceived wrongly?: maybe. Don't really know how other people perceive me

Do You...

Smoke?: every few weeks.
Do drugs?: I smoke weed every few months. Not really a huge fan.
Read the newspaper?: yeah
Pray?: Only on that Jewish holy day were you fast and beat your chest. And I haven't really prayed for a several years. I ask questions a lot.
Go to church?: I go to synagogue with my grandparents when they're in town
Talk to strangers who IM you?: Very rarely use im
Sleep with stuffed animals?: only when I'm in someone elses bed.
Take walks in the rain?: Yeah
Talk to people even though you hate them?: sure.
Drive?: Don't have a car, and my only license is an expired learners permit

Would or Have You Ever?

Liked your voice?: My voice sounds fine to me
Hurt yourself?: not on purpose
Been out of the country?: yup
Eaten something that made other people sick?: sushi and squid might count. I've had roast grsshoppers a few times
Been in love?: not sure
Gone skinny dipping?: no
Had surgery?: nothing I remember
Ran away from home?: yes
Played strip poker?: yes
Gotten beaten up?: only until I stood up.
Beaten someone up?: nothing really savage. Bloody noses once or twice, broke a guy's arm, and gave someone else a black eye.
Been picked on?: probably
Been on stage?: yes
Slept outdoors?: yeah
Thought about suicide?: yeah (aka "ever been a teenager?")
Pulled an all nighter?: only two or three times
Gone one day without food?: yes
Talked on the phone all night?: fuck no. I hate the phone.
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: yeah
Slept all day?: yeah, when I was feverish a few years ago.
Made out with a stranger?: yup
Had sex with a stranger?: yes
Thought you're going crazy?: no
Kissed the same sex?: no
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: no
Had a dream that came true?: nothing I can remember
Broken the law?: yes, many times
Met a famous person?: yeah
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: no
On purpose?: no
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: no
Stolen anything?: yeah
Been on radio/tv?: no
Been in a mosh-pit?: yeah
Had a nervous breakdown?: no
Bungee jumped?: no
Had a dream that kept coming back?: just the one where someone's asking me questions

Friends

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: yup
Who is your best friend?: not really sure. Maybe Stu or my brother
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: My brother. He can generally tell when I'm lying
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: The advice I listen to is always very good
Your favorite inside joke?: probably something about sex with your mom, or corpses
Thing you're picked on most about?: lying? not caring about people? callous atitude toward feelings in general?
Who's your longest known friend?: Adam Limehouse
Newest?: Don't know
Shyest?: zack
Funniest?: my bro
Sweetest?: ??? probably Zack. He's an old softy.
Closest?: my brother
Weirdest?: that's a fuckingtossup. All my friends are weird
Smartest?: Britty's getting paid to go to grad school, so that's pretty smart, right?
Ditziest?: Laura likes shiny things a ponies.
Friends you miss being close to the most?: dunno
Who are you on the phone with most?: probably stu or heather
Who do you trust most?: not answering this one
Who listens to your problems?: most of my friends
Who do you fight most with?: none
Who's the nicest?: Elizabeth
Who's the most outgoing?: maybe stu
Who's the best singer?: never heard anyone sing
Who's on your shit-list?: your mom
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: I think I've thought about having sex with everyone I spend time with at least once. In the interest of science, of course
Who's your second family?: Adam L's parents
Do you always feel understood?: almost never
Who's the loudest friend?: don't have any loud friends
Do you trust others easily?: sure
Who's house were you last at?: Anna and Laura's appartment now
Do your friends know you?: kind of

NY

New York in about a month. I'm sort of excited. Can't really gauge the meter's level until I've seen some real infinite skyline.

What is absolutely essential to do in New York?

My current plan is: walk around, possibly listen to some music.

I've done most of the tourist type stuff already, don't really care about Broadway unless I get to see the Lion King. Looking for something great to do, something I'll be contemplating for the next few weeks.

A Scanner Darkly

Oh man. I'm in the mood for a fight. Verbal, physical, whatever.

This is the trailor for "A Scanner Darkly". If you have not grokked it, you are a neandrotholf, and we should settle our differences in a music showdown. I will play the triangle.

Hairs

I was walking through the park after work today, thinking about going to this concert tonight, trying to decide before I reached the cutoff point. Cutoff Point: that spot where I am equal parts distant from concert and my apartment. I had gotten the tickets for free, and sort of invited the brother, but it was hot and the prospect of spending an evening smelling my brother wasn't very inviting.

So I sat on a wall under some trees while I thought about it. If I didn't feel compelled to wander towards the Drunken Unicorn within 15 minutes, I would head home.

Is that last sentence in the passive voice? I'm worried about that and the sounds Adam makes when he coughs.

So these girls were sitting on the other side of the little collection of trees. They were more like large bushes. The point was that they shielded me from the sight and hearing of those girls. This was important, as they were dressed in black skirts and spiky belts (AKA suburban version of indie). Also, they were taking turns draping themselves over the wall and various harmless inanimate object as the other took pictures. Not that I'm elitist or anything, but this was a bad scene.

I take that back. I'm more than a trifle elitist.

When setting this scene, it is important to remember that I got a haircut yesterday, and my mohawk was fully deployed. Like shiny things, nudity, and bright lights, this tends to attract people.

So one of the photographers wanders over, doing her best impression of a girl who had just graduated from highschool and was looking forward to her freshman year at an out of state art school where she would make at least two bad relationship decisions. She asks permission to take my picture, and we chat for a bit. She's just graduated from a highschool in Florida, is currently in summer school at SCAD, and will be attending the college next year in Atlanta. She runs some sort of fetish photography studio through myspace. I resist mentioning how much being photographed turns me on.

She finishes taking pictures and leaves with her friend. I take a nap on the wall, then walk home.

Destino Teaser

Fucking awesome. Still searching around for the full version.

Eh. Find Something Salvagable.

When you feel the sudden pain, covered by the thick blanket of sickness the same way you remember making the bed with your mother and father – they, on either side of the bed, would toss the comforter in the air wide like a fisherman's net between them, and you would dive under the blanket, feel that rich animal sense of cover, transportation. The pain is like that. But different, sinister, you've never had a chance to become familiar with this as you have the other worlds you've discovered between birth and this sudden strike of the sick sick pain. Yes it's different and you look around if you happen to stand amongst a crowd or even friends. They can't understand, there's no time to tell them about the blanket and the other worlds and now this sudden pain a moving of self to something which should not be.

And that's why I retreat now, hide in a bathroom, walk onto the porch. Pain is something private. Each soul moved the same way, each soul reborn under that sick fading sign into a new life.

Is there any word to describe a muscle becoming ready, tensing, jack-rabbiting forward? You could call this life in complete. A circle. And I can feel the decay at the end, that moment that we writing types all call life. That experience of dying just as we begin. The scribes are always in that moment so we bring that moment to fullest life in our writing.

Call it Frankenstein.

Chew on the toothpick as a retrospective moment. If you were directing a film of my life as a writer, this would be the important bit we call characterization. I like it. Fuck depth. Let's stick a toothpick in the whole thing and call it being, life, character.

So I wonder if that man resting under the holly bush felt alive. He had walked for at least eight miles – we spoke about spending the night in a barn inhabited by all the creatures of Redwall. And I meanwhile was only climbing two miles up and two miles down. The soft wide middle sheltered by umbrella trees like Cedar, Pine, Holly, and Rock which is not a tree but nevertheless grows to protect us. I feel a favored Son at this moment as I climb through marked footholds to a height which displays an undead life composed of air and the collishiones between cloud and rock.

I Miss Hitting People in Their Heads and Throats and That Beautiful Area Behind the Ribcage

Okay. I don't really follow soccer, or any other sports. However, that Zidane headbutt was fucking awesome. Don't have the youtube link currently available.

But I was searching for it and found this. How cool is that.

A= Way cool.

I am a huge fan of fighting people with random body parts. I have been honed in the "skreets" of my brother and Grady High school. Keep in mind, I didn't fight more than once or twice at school. I have fought my brother an infinity of times.

I'll be talking with him, and the air will separate and hush, and I'll realize my right arm should be sweeping up to meet his big monkey hands which are grasping for my shoulders because he is a wrestling type person. And then I'll knee him in the stomach.

Believe me, it is hilarious.

Have you ever seen a 6'2 person get severely beaten by a 5'8 skinny guy? It is a thing of beauty.

Anyway, I'm watching the rest of Waking Life and The Aviator and Syriana and Fantastic Planet right now, so you must excuse me.

Waking Life

Fuck now I want to fight everyone. I'll post something that I wrote while relatively sober. It may be insightful. I'll find out in the morning.

Goddamn. Sometimes Waking Life is cool, and sometimes it makes me want to punch everyone in the face.

Did the director just search for every random boring asshole blowhard he could find? Hey, director, hire me - I can speak bullshit for fucking hours at a time.

Are you people stupid or what?

Anyway, I tend more towards the existential viewpoint. I haven't really done all the required reading, but I like what I extrapolate.

More Letters from Drunk Country

Nursing myself back to sobriety. Which sucks.

Feels like coming back to US from random foreign country. AKA big letdown.

I spent some time with this girl in a bathroom stall. Not in a good way. More - hey girl don't choke on you own vomit. That sort of way. Was unsuccessful in getting her to walk around.

This is my cure for everything, but she was too drunk to "bite".

Tickets

I have 2 tickets to see someone or other at Lenny's tomorrow night. Need a ride. Interested?

sincerely,

(404)754 9469

Sand

I get the idea that a relative of a friend died recently. Maybe up North?

Not sure. I bet the Germans have a word for it.

Maybe a relative of a relative? A very distant relative? I don't really keep up so much. A divorce? Something happened.

I'm at that point where shutting my eyes feels like swimming in shallow water along the Gulf of Mexico. But it takes so much work to actually turn off lights and noises, except if I leave them on they'll just wake me in a few minutes.

I need to spend more time sleeping outside.

Actually, that's something I've been craving lately. Maybe a riverbank, something to give the campfire some shelter.

I almost slept on a sandbar once. The closest I've gotten to sleeping on a sandbar, besides the time alluded to in the previous sentence, is when I got lost in the woods. After losing the trail, I found a small river and started walking downstream. I saw bobcat tracks in the mud. Eventually, the light fell, and the world turned the grey you only get in the wild between full daylight and sunset. Grey isn't the right word. Flat. That's a good one.

Anyway, I ended up finding a good rock in the middle of the stream. I was young, and worried about bobcats. The rock was still warm from sunlight and perhaps my body when the search party found me a few hours later.

(A rock is similar to a sandbar in that they are the same things at different points in the big timeline. Also, this river was vaguely but physically connected to the river which contained the sandbar that I earlier mentioned almost sleeping in.)