Monday, June 25, 2007

First day in Istanbul:


I was woken sometime around dawn by the call to prayer. The hostel's sandwiched between three big mosques, and I sleep on the roof, so I'm usually woken up a few hours before I'm ready.



An hour or two later, I managed to really wake.



About half those bunks are occupied at night. Now, they're all eating breakfast downstairs.



This street is pretty good. Every hour or so (during the day) a pickup truck drives down carrying cans of gas. It plays a really catchy song.

Something like: Dun du duuuuh dah dooooooOOOOoooooo doh

I'm not sure why it plays music.



Street level, where very short women bring us tea (or coffee), bread, and veggies.



I figure we'll go see tourist type stuff in the morning, then do stuff I like in the afternoon.

Cool?

'K. Our first stop, a somewhat unimpressive entrance to the very impressive Topkapi Palace:



This is the outer garden. Very laid back, like much of Istanbul.



AKA "Gift Shop"



I like models.



We've past through the first courtyard, and are currently in the fancier gardens. This is where the king kept his harem, and a special room built for circumcision ceremonies.

Also, deformed trees.



The bridge between two of Istanbul's sections.



I was standing right next to that circumcision chamber when I took this photo. Can't believe I missed taking a picture of the murals inside.

I have nightmares about those murals.



One more picture before I leave:



We have reached the outer gardens, home of 17 million Japanese tourists.

They're really cute - like that scene in 101 Dalmations where more puppies keep showing up in random places.



Oh. I guess most of the people up there were European tourists. Not really so cute, more along the lines of "please stop being so goddamn smug about your trendy sneakers. Also, your bags are stupid."

Anyway. After the palace, I went walking towards a more modern section of Istanbul. I got lost between the million streets that look like the one below.



I eventually figured out where I was. For my exceptional daring, I awarded myself the "pathfinder" merit badge and a sammich.



From there, I walked in the general direction of a bridge to the city's modern section.

Then I saw a cool mosque.



With a tomb next to it!

An indoor tomb!



Taking pictures might have been a bit rude.

Anyway, after defiling some graves, it was pigeon o'clock.



Then walking across the bridge pictured.

There's at least 100 old people fishing off each side. They sell their catches to the restaurants below, where they are grilled and sold to tourists at outrageous prices.



I got to the other side safely, and started wandering towards the tall glass buildings.

Then I got distracted by this awesome street.

As far as attention spans go, me and the pigeons have a lot in common.



There was a tower at the top, which turned out to be another popular tourist attraction, so I climbed it.



If there is a stone wall, dogs will sleep against it.



Shleepy dog.






And those tall buildings are where I'm walking to.



A pirate!

It's good to know that people are still civilized in Turkey.



I finally reached the base of Taksim (the modern district) Hill.



Walk walk walk.

My boots started falling apart halfway through. Seriously.



Resting in the park.

Pretty good, but no Hyde, Central, or even Piedmont.



Sweet mother of mercy. Someone alert G8 and G-Dub.



Through clever detective work, I eventually discover the culprit:



I would have taken more building pictures, but they weren't too impressive.

Instead, check out this wheel!

They use it to lower trains from the Taksim hill into the rest of Istanbul.



From the train down, it's a short tram ride across the water into Sultanahamet, where I'm staying.



A Narc, with his dog. They're both pretty sleepy.



Back home, I walk past the Blue Mosque into my neighborhood. The Hagia Sofia is right behind me.



Mavi Guesthouse.

If you're ever in Istanbul, stay here. The owner's super-nice.



I mess around with email, read a bit, and take a nap.



Then one of the hostel employees offers to take us to his neighborhood Turkish Bath, so we all share a cab down.



They take the two dames to a seperate bath.



Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take any pictures inside the bath. I figured it might look sort of strange, wearing nothing but a towel and a camera.

But! If you get a chance to experience a good traditional Turkish bath, you should. If only for the architecture. The ceilings of that place were huge vaulted things, and everything was covered in marble and etched designs. Very cool.

Also, everyone who worked there looked like the guy on the left. Except the masseurs were bigger.

Anyway. After the bath, a big hairy guy pushed me into a little room and told me "you sleep ten minutes". I said "okay".



Dinner.

From left to right:

French girl whose name I forget, Catalan girl whose name I forget, French guy whose name I forget, and Turkish guide whose name I forget.

(but they're all completely awesome)



Too dark to take many pictures on the way back.



This machine shop was tucked away in what looked like an old cistern.



Finally, I got home and headed straight to bed. These two pictures were taken from my bunk:





Goodnight internet. I've gotta go practice the Turkish words for "you are very beautiful", "I love you", and "In America I have many skyscapers".

Monday, June 11, 2007

First Story Accepted

Dear Ben,

Extremely cool piece - I love it! Perfectly written,
artistic and lots of fun to read. So glad you found
the site!

"Iron-On" will make its debut on Monday the 25th.

Welcome to 6S!

Sincerely,
Robert McEvily
Editor, 6S

-----------------------------

I'm pretty excited. The story's only 128 words long (Brit - not a coincidence), the magazine's online only, and I had too much caffeine running through my system to remember much of what I wrote. But, still very happy. I wish my cat was around so we could do the celebrated "Victory Dance".

It mainly involves her trying to get away, and me calling her the best cat, and a lot of jumping.

First, second, and third rejection letters. I've got four more magazines I'm waiting to hear from.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

phiLOLsophers

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Fuck Forever

What Im saying, what i'm saying
Whats the use between death and glory?
I cant tell between death and glory?
Happy endings, no, they never bored me
Happy endings, they still don't bore me
But they, they have a way
They have a way to make you pay
And to make you toe the line
Sever the ties
Because I'm so clever
But cleverly wise

Fuck forever
If you don't mind
Oh fuck forever?
If you dont mind, dont mind,i dont mind,i dont mind

- Written by our favorite junky, Pete Doherty


How death or glory becomes just another story

How death or glory becomes just another story

n every gimmick hungry yob digging gold from rock n roll

Grabs the mike to tell us hell die before hes sold

But I believe in this-and its been tested by research

that he who fucks nun will later join the church

From every dingy basement on every dingy street
I hear every dragging handclap over every dragging beat
Thats just the beat of time-the beat that must go on
If you been trying for years-then we already heard your song

Saturday, June 02, 2007

More News As This Story Developes

Before I started spending time on this "Internet", I had realized that the majority of people were basically braindead. Then, I started reading interesting websites written by interesting people, and I changed that opinion. I began to think, since I was able to find so much damn cool information on this "internet", maybe people weren't as stupid as I thought!

Then, I spent even more time on the internet, and I realized that I had merely been selective in my sampling of the Internet. The vast majority of them are really. Really. Stoopid.

Do you realize, people exist who write the word "lol" after every sentence fragment they type? This is to let the reader know they are joking, or perhaps "laughing out loud". But, the funny thing is, they aren't actually making any jokes, or even making something that might be a joke if I was drunk enough and they were pretty enough. It as if they wished the reader to be aware of their generally jovial nature. I am reminded of this guy. He is jovial. Jovial and fucking retarded.

The Internet: Collecting stupidity since '91.