Gin

I can appreciate the desire for madness. I was slouching around Oglethorpe late last night, thinking about questions of my behavior, meanings, various relationships. As I rethought these old questions, I felt a growing, insistent need for answers. I realize now that all I wanted was resolution. Is this why we feel drawn to the outward/inward destruction? Is this why we drink ourselves to oblivion, let others make our decisions, find every excuse to remove all choices from our lives? Flights of madness create a blameless way to remove all options, create an artificial point of no return.

If I realize this, why do I, or anyone else, feel an urge to abolish all thought? I feel like I'm not really being clear with my thought process, but shouldn't the realization that an action is self deceptive make us avoid that action? I've been operating on the assumption that we desire deception in our lives. I really hope my assumption is proved false.