Slightly Risque

I was lying in bed this afternoon, not reading "Crime and Punishment", trying to think of something to write about in my blog. I was going to write about the aids walk, they were passing by my apartment all afternoon. But the only thing insightful to say is a warning: Whatever you do, don't walk the against the AIDswalk tide - that means you're Pro aids.

How about condoms? Those motherfuckers confuse me every time. Not getting them on - they made us practice putting condoms on a banana in middle school sex-ed, I'm generally about 20-30 seconds time-wise, so I think I've achieved journeyman level condom use. I'm just confused about the sheer variety of condoms. What's the difference between "ribbed for her pleasure" and "sensual sensations"? Also - why won't condom makers come up with a standard size? And what about colors? Why don't all condoms glow in the dark? Wouldn't that be fucking awesome?

A Plan: At some point within the next month, I will buy a metric fuckton of condoms, try each brand on, and write short reviews.