Stealin'

"Hey desk lady," I stated confidently. "I'm Max Payne and I just arrested this trash can for a series of brutal murders and possibly rapes. You might say I'm a hero!" She was unmoved. In an act of desperation, I decided to propose marriage to the trash can, hopefully making the desk lady green with jealousy over my newfound love interest. No luck. She was indeed a tough nut to crack, like a testicle forged from pure titanium.