Dogs
I'm sure dogs burn in hell when they die. Cats too, but it's dogs I actually like to imagine.
Because they can't even stand, you know? I mean, the ground's probably magma, or something really hot at least. So the dog probably can't even really stand; the moment it puts a foot down... Flash! Whole paw catches fire! And, of course, the dog's got no choice, it has to stand, or else the whole body's going to burn.
and that's the other cool thing - the dog has no choice but life, fire, and pain. Just picture those eternal Dante style specters, except they're dogs, and on fire.
It's true that people probably burn as well, but I'm sure we handle it more gracefully than dogs. Dogs are domesticated. Those ugly fuckers spend their days smiling, eating, playing, and laughing at us. Sure, we're the chumps now, but lets see them laugh when they're rolling in burning barbs while we soak up rays next to the lake of fire. I mean, humans are built for pain.
Compare your average dishwasher and any of those big dogs. Now the dishwasher, that motherfucker's got years of work, disease, and human misery on him. He lives in fire at least 40 hours a week. Your average dog's been living the good life compared to that poor squeaky clean bastard. Hellfire's really no worse than a Calcutta heatwave to us; to a dog, that fire really is hell, or worse.
Because they can't even stand, you know? I mean, the ground's probably magma, or something really hot at least. So the dog probably can't even really stand; the moment it puts a foot down... Flash! Whole paw catches fire! And, of course, the dog's got no choice, it has to stand, or else the whole body's going to burn.
and that's the other cool thing - the dog has no choice but life, fire, and pain. Just picture those eternal Dante style specters, except they're dogs, and on fire.
It's true that people probably burn as well, but I'm sure we handle it more gracefully than dogs. Dogs are domesticated. Those ugly fuckers spend their days smiling, eating, playing, and laughing at us. Sure, we're the chumps now, but lets see them laugh when they're rolling in burning barbs while we soak up rays next to the lake of fire. I mean, humans are built for pain.
Compare your average dishwasher and any of those big dogs. Now the dishwasher, that motherfucker's got years of work, disease, and human misery on him. He lives in fire at least 40 hours a week. Your average dog's been living the good life compared to that poor squeaky clean bastard. Hellfire's really no worse than a Calcutta heatwave to us; to a dog, that fire really is hell, or worse.
posted by Fifth at 2:34 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home