Thinking About Maxwell, Lot 49, Etc
It is difficult to drive to work on cold mornings just after the night’s Snow Storm has become a Light Flurry.
A Light Flurry means that it is barely freezing, though this doesn’t matter to the imp in my Windshield Wiper Fluid Dispenser, who keeps the Fluid Nozzle firmly shut against my attempts to dispense fluid onto my windshield. Sometimes, on those winter mornings, it is a Light Flurry with Freezing Rain, and I especially need to use the Dispenser. This does not matter to the imp, and it continues to restrain my Windshield Wiper Fluid Dispenser.
When I press the button which, on other cars I’ve owned, would spray soapy fluid over my windshield and activate my wipers for a short time, I often find myself cursing behind my dirty windows as I imagine the imp reclining against the stopped gears, perhaps leafing through the imp version of Popular Science.
The imp functions unerringly on warmer days. I travel a good deal, so my warmer days can be grouped as Days I Was in X State, as follows:
Georgia, Florida, Alabama: March through May. Windshield Wipers and Dispenser used infrequently with no errors.
Western Louisiana and the entirety of Texas: May through July. Windshield Wipers and Dispenser functioned as needed. Curiously, as temperatures rose, Dispenser was often fired without my input, suggesting that the imp is able to trigger the Device from within its home. Given the high temperatures, I hypothesize that the imp uses the Wiper Fluid Dispenser as a cooling device.
New Mexico and Arizona: August. Again, the Dispenser was frequently fired by the imp. Temperatures were often higher than in Louisiana or Texas.
I was recently reassigned to work with the school districts of Southern Wisconsin and Northern Illinois. I’ve kept the imp, and the car. When they work, both imp and car are dependable and efficient.
A Light Flurry means that it is barely freezing, though this doesn’t matter to the imp in my Windshield Wiper Fluid Dispenser, who keeps the Fluid Nozzle firmly shut against my attempts to dispense fluid onto my windshield. Sometimes, on those winter mornings, it is a Light Flurry with Freezing Rain, and I especially need to use the Dispenser. This does not matter to the imp, and it continues to restrain my Windshield Wiper Fluid Dispenser.
When I press the button which, on other cars I’ve owned, would spray soapy fluid over my windshield and activate my wipers for a short time, I often find myself cursing behind my dirty windows as I imagine the imp reclining against the stopped gears, perhaps leafing through the imp version of Popular Science.
The imp functions unerringly on warmer days. I travel a good deal, so my warmer days can be grouped as Days I Was in X State, as follows:
Georgia, Florida, Alabama: March through May. Windshield Wipers and Dispenser used infrequently with no errors.
Western Louisiana and the entirety of Texas: May through July. Windshield Wipers and Dispenser functioned as needed. Curiously, as temperatures rose, Dispenser was often fired without my input, suggesting that the imp is able to trigger the Device from within its home. Given the high temperatures, I hypothesize that the imp uses the Wiper Fluid Dispenser as a cooling device.
New Mexico and Arizona: August. Again, the Dispenser was frequently fired by the imp. Temperatures were often higher than in Louisiana or Texas.
I was recently reassigned to work with the school districts of Southern Wisconsin and Northern Illinois. I’ve kept the imp, and the car. When they work, both imp and car are dependable and efficient.
posted by Fifth at 12:07 PM
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