A Quick Note from the Love Doctor

So, I was walking home after class today, thinking about the fairer sex. The ratio of men to women at my college is something like 60/40. If my school has a population of 1200 students, 720 of those are female. I developed a quick equation based on my rugged good looks (r) plus biting wit (b) multiplied by the freshman girl factor (x) divided by the number of women folk on campus (720). For the mathematical among you, the equation works out like this:

[(r+b)x]/720 = percent chance of random sex

Now, assuming my physical traits are about 7.6 out of 10, and my mental traits work out to about 8.7 out of 10, the only unknown in this equation is the freshman girl factor. Those of you who have not yet had a chance to take a women's studies class may be unfamiliar with the freshman girl factor (aka: x factor). The x factor is a basic measurement of how likely a college freshman girl is to sleep with the first older student she sees at campus. Obviously x is an important factor in my equation. I'm going to keep the number I used for the x factor secret in case any freshmen girls are reading this, and just skip right to the results of the equation:

[(r+b)^x]/720 = 16%

That's right! On any given day, there's a 16 percent chance that some random girl will drag me into an empty classroom for sex!

This leads to an important question. Feel free to read the next sentence aloud:

You: "Ben. Why haven't you been molested by hoards of women? I know the percent chance of random sex must be much higher, because you probably knocked at least a point off your physical and mental scores, so what's wrong?"

That's a good question, and I'll be answering it in my next post.



[note: all math in this post is completely wrong]